How did he do it?
A. He cheated
B. He's lucky
C. He's a genius
D. It is written
Once upon a time there lived a boy named James. He lived in a simple world, surrounded by family and friends, but in many ways, he was all alone. But it was only for a time. This is the story of how he was ambushed by a beautiful girl and fell in love. This is my story. The first part of it anyway.
The man upstairs has some funny timing some times. Of course, it's always perfect, but it's hard to see that unless you're looking in the rearview.
The story before the story. Call it a prologue if you will.
It was the summer of 2007, I was starting to get burned out at my job, and was really struggling with what seemed to me to be a fundamental lack of direction in what we were doing. A lot of stuff just seemed to be plate-spinning and not really making a difference. Come August, I took a long-needed trip out west and explored the wonderful state of Colorado. I stayed with Darrin & Alissa Graham, and their two boys Eric and Collin. Darrin had been on staff at Southland, and had since moved back to his home state and was working at Flatirons Church there.
I knew that when I went out there I might get recruited pretty strong, and I wasn't sure what I would say. But I went. I flew in to Denver and rented a Nissan 350Z for the week. I stayed at the Graham's house for the weekend, and went to church with them on Saturday. It was in a strip mall and everyone was crammed in, but there was electricity in the air. A whole different spirit (Spirit) was about it. I enjoyed worship for the first time in a long time. I sang. Really really loud.
On Sunday morning we drove to Pike's Peak, and I was in awe again. Darrin had to go back to work on Monday, so I packed my bags and headed off to spend the rest of the week alone, exploring Colorado. I drove all over the state and just took in Creation. I needed time with someone bigger than me. It was a good thing to feel small.
By the end of the trip, I was amazingly rejuvenated, and at the same time convinced that I needed to go back to Kentucky for now--that there were plans for me there. I could see myself in Colorado in the future, but I wanted to help bring that experience that I had at Flatirons back to Southland.
I didn't know what that meant then, and I don't know that I do even now, but we are getting there. Now I know those plans for me included someone very special. But I almost missed it.
the beginning.
Saturday, June 28, 2008 was the first time I really noticed her. I don't recall if she had been on stage before that, but I remember mixing that weekend and Lauren was singing, stage left. She was very cute and outgoing, but I didn't know much about her. I remember writing her name that day--on one of the channels of the audio console. Lauren. Cute name, that.
The weekend came and went, and some of our staff team found ourselves traveling north to Indianapolis for the North American Christian Convention. Jon would be teaching a session, and our worship team was lined up to play multiple sessions. One sunny afternoon we had time to kill, and several of us were relaxing at the hotel pool. Lauren's sister Amanda, Derrick Breaux and I were chatting about church stuff and I mentioned to Amanda, "Your sister did a great job this weekend." She agreed. "I could hear her," she said. OK so I may have pushed her up in the mix a bit, but those are the perks. ;) Derrick mentioned that she would be singing a Kelly Clarkson song in a few weeks, and Amanda commented on how it would be good for her to sing those words. ('Because of You'). I didn't know about her experiences, but that hinted at some hard ones. They kept talking and I thought about Lauren for a while. We came back home, and life went on.
Early in August, Lauren was on the team again and I think I may have been around her in the green room. That weekend she added me as a friend on facebook. Then came the first chat. Her first words were, "Hi new facebook friend!" Being the natural keyboard conversationalist, we chatted for quite a while. The following Monday was my coveted day off, and I made the trip across town for a Cracker Barrel breakfast. As I was being seated, an email came in from her via facebook, and I responded immediately. She was at work and responded back. "My kind of girl--quick to the punch," I thought. We mailed back and forth a couple of times while I was eating breakfast. OK now I was getting interested. Very interested.
But then the last line in her last message set off an alarm: "What do you have planned this week? What kind of music are you into? I ask a lot of questions I know!! lol"
OK now I know she's interested. Fear hit me like a sack of vegatable soup falling from a second story window and messed me up in a bad way. "She probably just likes me because I'm nice and I chatted with her," I thought. "But I would do that with anyone," I rationalized... Until then, I'd never gone any deeper than that. I couldn't admit it, and I didn't really know it then, but I was afraid of relationships. More than just about anything else. But it was even more than that. I had convinced myself of the lie that no one would ever really like me, because I didn't like me. I had built up some pretty tall walls, and I kept them pretty clean. "I can't let anybody in and know the real me," is what I was thinking. Now to do what I had always done before when people were interested... Ignore them and they will go away. I know that sounds terrible, but it's what I did. Things got busy at work. It helped.
She emailed me three times over the next month, but I pretty much blew them off with trivial or one-sentence responses. I was in denial mode and didn't want to be saved from it. I'm not proud of it.
It took a good friend to dig me out of my hole. Saturday, October 18, 2008 after church, I went to Jalapeños for dinner with Coby Gammon and his family, including his parents. As we were being seated, I noticed they had changed the lighting fixtures over to some kind of halogen fixture and I didn't like it. Too blue and it killed the feel of the room. As I was looking around, I saw Lauren was there. She was sitting in a booth nearby with Kristen and some of her crew. I was very excited, until my fear kicked in and then I was just nervous. I made eye contact a few times. I wanted to go over and say hi, but my shoes were heavy as lead. Fortunately for me, we left at the same time and she walked up to me and said hello. I said hi back but I was too nervous to remember what else I said. I didn't sleep too well.
Fast forward to lunch on Tuesday of the next week, and our production team had ventured to Bellacino's for some sandwiches. I hadn't so much as sat down as Coby looked me straight in the eye and said, "Now James, the other night at dinner I noticed a certain young lady that lit up when she saw you. Now what are we going to do about this?" Crack. A big chunk of my wall cracked open at hearing that. It's not that I hadn't noticed. But hearing someone else say it made it real. "Yeah, she does seem to like me..." Coby would have preferred me call her then and there, but I escaped to stew a little longer. Nothing happened for two months. I regret that. But I guess I still wasn't ready.
"It's the most wonderful time of the year!"
December rolled around, and so did our big Christmas production. This year we teamed up with the Children's department and did a Christmas show. Lauren was in the show, cast as one of the leads. I had no chance. ;) It was quite silly--even before and after rehearsals, if I saw her around I would escape. But I would also admire her from afar. If only I could get over this fear thing. I still wasn't sure anyone would really like me if they really knew me. Over the course of the show I was more and more interested, pulling off quite a bit of facebook stalking. ;) I found myself thinking about her a lot and hoping I would see her.
But it would have to be her to make the first move. I wouldn't have done it. I'm thankful she did.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008. I rolled over in bed and woke up. I looked at the clock. 11:25am. "Hmm," I thought, "time to call Jeremy and see about lunch." I leaned over from the bed and reached for the trusty iPhone. No joke--as I am reaching for the phone, it goes off with a text message. "Want to meet for lunch?" It was from Lauren. This kind of stuff only happens in movies. I believe in providence over coincidence, so I grab the phone and stare at the characters on the screen. "It's meant to be," I said to myself, and I responded, "Sure, where would you like to go?" I couldn't believe I responded so easily. But I had to. It felt great. It felt right. We agreed to meet up at Puccini's Smiling Teeth Pizza off Boston Road at 12:40. I got ready with a spring in my step. I was really, really happy. I was on time (and I am never on time).
I was nervous walking in, but for some reason I knew it was what I was supposed to do. When I walked into the restaurant, I was greeted with a big bear hug by Ron Leach. Weird. Were there others that had come along too? No, it just happened that Ron was there with Jim Cox and Dale Thomas, at a table nearby. OK. Regroup.
There she was, sitting in a booth all alone. I felt confident, but my, she was beautiful sitting there. She was just wearing her work clothes--khaki pants and her Credit Union logo polo shirt, and her hair was up. Wow. I looked in her eyes as I sat down and said hello and I just about freaked out. I don't know if I had never really looked her in the eyes before, but I found myself getting lost in them. Every time I looked into her eyes time slowed down. I had to look away to avoid seeming weird. I was nervous all of a sudden and I talked the whole time. Really fast. She says I mumbled. Haha. My goodness. And she still liked me!
After about an hour I had to let her get back to work, so I asked her for a second date. She said sure, and I about flipped. It sounds cliche, but as I got into my car, I felt a sense of calmness and I knew in my heart she was the one. It took my brain a while to get around that, but that's a tale for another day.
Now here I am, writing out the first part of our story. I'm four months and two weeks away from living happily ever after.
How did I do it?
D. It is written
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